evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
