I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Boobs speak an international language.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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