I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
