stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
