Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
