I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
