its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
