Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
