Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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