And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
