She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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