So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize