haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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