So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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