Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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