the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
