Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
