Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
