Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
