Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
