Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I FOUND THE LEGS
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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