two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
