Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
