you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
