when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
