we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize