No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
