Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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