I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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