Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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