nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
