I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
