Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
