Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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