I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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