Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
