I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
