I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize