dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
