How'd it feel making her break her religion?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just want nice things and good sex
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
