Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
