I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
