no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
