Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
