No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
