3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
