Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
