Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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