Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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