The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
