:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
