Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
