im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I believe in your delicious
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