youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i now understand why vodka
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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