So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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