I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
ugly people sure do ruin things
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
