my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
