i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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