Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
