the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize