Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
