thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
