My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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