Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
