Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
