i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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