So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
