If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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