am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
