I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
