Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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